Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wish i was in the wii world.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
