Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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