if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
