mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize