i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
is wine microwaveable?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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