So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's shark week go big or go home
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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