Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
