Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
