The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
