can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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