ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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