Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize