Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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