DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize