redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
