sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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