this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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