just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
where are you?
Hypothermia
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
