Are we in a gay sports bar?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
