If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
