i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dicks are not precious.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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