i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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