Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
