there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
