It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
