you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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