I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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