thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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