I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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