We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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