just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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