okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
