yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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