Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
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i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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