HIV tests are more positive than that guy
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
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I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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