My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
