yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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