trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
nutella sex= disaster
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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