i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
