If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
