If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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