I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
