According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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