I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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