is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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