Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
