I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
