Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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