You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he thought i was a dude.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
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you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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