he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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