I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
