I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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