while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
