btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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