i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
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When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
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