GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
im on a boat
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