Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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