On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize