I think my vagina is haunted
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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