Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
