About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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