Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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