He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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