Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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