I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
