Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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