i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
